It’s now been over a week since my wedding, along with N.’s baptism and 1st birthday celebration that also took place. As I’m trying to grab precious minutes to write about the entire celebration, I’m torn between wanting to open all the presents, send Thank you-s to all the guests and manage all the lab tests I need to get done before my monthly thyroid checkup. I guess this is just my karma since all the major events in my life fall in the same time as other major chores.
I didn’t get the chance to share this with you yet, but I am currently recovering from hypothyroidism. I will only tell you that it has been a turbulent and sensitive time for me, as this story belongs to another post. In this post, which I will try to make as concise as possible, I will talk about my journey to organize a wedding and the celebration of my daughter’s 1st birthday and baptism in a single event, while struggling with hypothyroidism at the same time. All that adding to my husband’s tight working schedule, which altogether made the process of planning the entire event that much challenging.
Planning a wedding with a baby and hypothyroidism: simple, fast and efficient
I was never really the kind of girl who fantasized about a romantic wedding. But, when I’ve suffered from a difficult illness and my family faced serious challenges during the most sensitive period in our lives, we truly needed something to keep our spirits up. This is the reason why, despite of the difficult circumstances that surround us, D. and I decided to put our efforts into throwing a nice celebration.
D. and I began planning our wedding somewhere around March 2016, which means that we only had about three months to organize a celebration that will gather our 150 CLOSEST friends and relatives. Initially, we wanted a small wedding, but when so many people showed us their attention and love once we had a baby and many of the previously estranged friendships rekindled, we couldn’t help but want to share our wedding celebration with everyone who showed their support.
We are fortunate to live in a small village that held a small, but adorable rustic venue: a park with a lake, restaurant, and a gothic Romanian castle in the background that only added to its charm.
We began planning our wedding by setting a date to June 26, booking the restaurant and hiring a band. This was the easy part that took place in March. This was the time when my hypothyroidism was still undiagnosed, and I was suffering in silence thinking that I’m only stressed out. My situation got worse over time, to the point when the simple mention of the wedding could make me cry.
To be honest, the wedding organization was as simple as it can come. Still, D. was working around 12 hours almost every single day. I was left to manage the house and the baby by myself, which would probably end in a catastrophe hadn’t my mother-in-law helped out with the baby. I believe that she sensed something was wrong long before I did but probably felt too uncomfortable to say anything. After all, I did pride with my ability to handle everything on my own. It was completely useless, now that I think about it.
My health got progressively worse towards the end of April, to the point where I was barely able to get out of bed. If I tried to push myself harder, thinking that I simply got too pampered by people around me after N’s birth, I would break things, fall and injure myself.
Depression appeared at the worst possible time. D. and I began giving out invitations in person, which is a tradition in my country. At this point, each day ended in tears. I think I looked like the saddest bride-to-be. As both physical and mental symptoms got worse, the “cold feet” kicked in for both D. and I. Can you imagine the stress?
I was finally diagnosed at the end of April and started taking my treatment. However, the planning was too much for me. D. pulled all the weight, with handling the paperwork, confirming the invitations and attending appointments. Mind that we made all the major decisions in less than a month before the wedding.
As my treatment kicked in, I was able to take some work upon myself. At that point, the entire process looked like a hot mess to me. I had no idea what I was doing, and I was still running a bit slow brain-wise. Just when it seemed like we finished with all the work and I could finally get to choose the gown, hairstyle, and makeup (yep, less than 20 days from the wedding), I became, once again, ill and nailed to the bed. My lower back and legs became completely stiff. Basically, I was almost paralyzed until a week before the wedding. The situation got better the last-minute, so I was able to get ready for the wedding properly.
The day before the wedding, it was as almost as I could feel my body falling into hormonal balance, which was later confirmed in my lab tests.
The wedding day has finally come, and I remember feeling kind of detached from everything around me. Both ceremonies, civil and church, went according to plan. We were able to see the fruits of our “labor” for the first time. Everything had fallen into place. We decided to decorate the tables with white and wine-red ribbons, and colorful flower arrangements placed in martini-vases sparked everyone’s interest. I didn’t get to see enough of it, however, since I went on to change into more comfortable shoes and head to the party.
Judging by the praises we got from our friends and family, it seems like our budget-friendly, simple, rustic wedding was a happy occasion for all of them. Our guests noticed and said to have loved how the entire reception was simple yet elegant. It could be that that’s just the group of people we belong to or a cultural “thing”. Looking back at the entire wedding, I feel like the only reason that we were able to manage on such a short notice was our decision to go simple and basic. We didn’t look into every specific detail, and we had a strict rule: We will make decisions on the spot, no delays. It took me around 15-20 minutes to arrange both wedding and my daughter’s cake, transportation details included. Our meeting with the florist, during which I have picked out the arrangements and my wedding bouquet lasted about 10 minutes. We had a drink with a band representative one evening in April and the rest is history.
Taking care of a baby during the wedding & baptism reception
You are probably wondering how N. was doing? Well, she is a tough little trooper, I give her that. We prepped fully to make her comfortable. We made sure to keep her hydrated and in the shade all the time. The photo session we had with her was short, but it was enough to capture beautiful photos. Her daily schedule wasn’t changed at all during the day. She had two naps, during which D. took her home and her grandmother was watching her. Yes, the baby comes first always, and we made sure that she is comfortable and protected from the noise and heat.
It took some planning, but we’ve managed to keep a schedule for her so that one of our closest family members takes care of her. They were taking turns in watching her, and she spent most of the day outside, shaded under the park trees. The guests were very considerate of her and gave her space. However, if you are planning to host an event with a baby by your side, I would recommend making it crystal clear that the she needs space and arrange for a team of people you trust to keep the baby sheltered.
People are naturally loving towards babies, and they will want to give them attention, there is nothing wrong with that. However, I don’t think that the majority of people realize that at least a dozen more people would want to spend time with the baby and how overwhelming it can be for her. It is alight for the baby to take part in the wedding or other events and have some time with the guests, but, in my opinion, it is the best that a trusted group of people takes care of her. It’s easy to lose track of the baby’s feeding and changing times if the baby is not monitored by a steady group of people.
My experience, tips and concerns about taking care of a baby during an event
If you are hosting a wedding or other event that includes your baby, this is what we did to make sure that our daughter was safe and comfortable, and what I would recommend to anyone.
1. Arrange for a group of trusted people to take care of the baby
2. Have diapers and hygiene products, as well as food and water, always near the baby, as well as strollers, blankets and several outfits to change him, if the day is hot.
3. Arrange a quiet place for the baby to sleep in if you can’t take him home to nap.
4. Let everyone involved know that you don’t want the baby disturbed, and prepare people who will be taking care of him not to allow playing with the baby to get out of control.
If you have any questions about planning a wedding or any other event that includes a baby, and/or planning and organizing an event while you are having health issues, leave a comment bellow, and I will answer or discuss it in my next post.